<   2008年 10月 ( 2 )   > この月の画像一覧

End of life

End of life
Before about two weeks, I saw a group of pictures in QQ one group of mails, did not know it is everyone and what has been trimmed hair, call " the end of life ". In the picture is all the scene that people cremate in the men-smelting furnace after dying, make people shocking after looking, yes, reaching the end in life is a pair of ashes!
In my sight, have an old and short and small figure, often appear in my home. Grandmother tell me whether you grandmother Wang of neighbour's in hospital, check, it comes out to be lung cancer one day suddenly. I have not spoken after long silence, is looking at the corner on the wall silently, the unconscious one thinks something in the brain, I do not know either at this moment, there is only a blank, but I want to see that old and short and small figure after I know, will be very difficult.
Our home moved to here in 1993, we knew no one while just moving to here, living in time slowly is long, know the villagers of much neighbourhood in this village too, including she. Maize ground and the maizes of shes our next to,the every when sowing autumn harvest in spring, I will see it is being fat that she is reciting the peasant family which is filled with a pocket in that old and short and small figure, shouldering it to the mountain, I just look quietly, full of sympathy to her in the heart. Several years ago, health of her very hale and hearty, go up a hill, cut firewood in bundle back, very much strong even plane ground, just she at that time was from coming to my home, I can only see her working quietly, sometimes, she sees me playing on a swing in the courtyard quietly too.
In only spring last year, she began to often drop in our home, let the grandmother chat. Finish farm work she will backyard come in by little door from my home, though I do not speak with her each time, but I always get her some ice cream and fruit and pass her, let her solve and quench one's thirst to have a rest for a moment, at this moment will smiling in she look at by I,full of grateful face.
Am I thinking sometimes, why do the old men in the countryside like tilling land? Why they do not go for morning exercises, play chess, it is favorable to physically and mentally healthy activity to do some, why will they go to work in the fields soon at 3, 4 o'clock in the early morning of every day? Later on I know they like morning exercises to play chess, but they must need one's own work to eat meals. In rural aged person being to have pension, meet filial children give to support parents fee 100-200 just at most all the year round, other economic source of income take by crops that oneself plant away and exchange money to change some articles for daily use all.
She lived in the institute once in March of solar calendar of today, our home did not come in two weeks, the grandmother goes to ask about her condition, others all say it is the water accumulation of lung, have not troubled greatly. She leave hospital later on, we ask how she feel, she oneself say, play sidelight for two weeks so agile too. She went the hospital again by May, the same as last time, continue having an intravenous drip, it send for some time and,on the such several several roll over do by pieces of comprehensive review either all the time, children negligence perhaps, will never expect serious disease she so terrible win. Serious in July, that old body that becomes thin faints to on the ground on the mountain, send to the hospital, through checking in an all-round way, lung cancer later period when the result has been already confirmed, can only maintain the life by the medicine, will calculate for one day in one days. Children have connected her and gone home, have concealed her condition, is the same as previous, the bit can be good to tell her to make for a few days, she takes it seriously, can not know the step of the death very well to her approaching step by step. She continues going up a hill to till land still the same as before, weed, carry the firewood, though the faint sick body is difficult to support the so enormous manual labor, but she still insists on, says, this serious disease is just good, the health is not interesting to the grandmother, it would be better if raised again. The grand-mother knows the truth but not dares to tell her, can only advise her to wait and do again agilely well, she does not hear.
Until the beginning of month in this month, she fell down at last, could not stand up again, travelled to and fro between the hospital for several times, still invalid. She know one's own condition, she say to children oneself want, take some traditional Chinese medicine have a try, perhaps the condition will take a favorable turn, children have told her the truth having no choice, she is in despair, do not eat and does not drink. She demands to go home, she does not want to die in the hospital. Just when the son gave her a piggyback to get off, she sees the grandmother passes in front of her house, does she tear the hands living in the grandmother and ask, our sisters have been good once, why conceal my truth? I lung cancer, as you know, you affirm, know why tell I? The grandmother have to stubbornly refuse to admit, assert emphatically, do not really know oneself.
So long as the grandmother will go to accompany her as soon as being free these days, accompany her to spend the last time. The grandmother came back to say, children had got the shroud filial piety shirt cloth of coffin ready, wait for her to breathe one's last, feel bad in the heart. Reach end is so dreary unexpectedly, person who watch group of children, man Suns woman life, the greatest house, savings in all one's life praise the wealth under, will part forever soon, thinking in her heart what it is at this moment? I guess, it is bitter and short whether can have life, the life is variable, life and death is empty, sigh with deep feeling this all one's life in vain? But she is still asking children at this moment, how much is the oxygen cylinder rented for her. Well I hear these, can only sigh
I want to see her very much, read several sentences of Buddha's symbols for her, can be regarded as and see her off too, but I have courage, can I'm afraid oneself scene to see birth and old age,sickness and death sentimental crying, even cry bitterly, so I have chosen to escape, quietly, quietly, pray to Buddha and chant scriptures for her, hope that can dispense with the bitterness of the samsara in her soul, must grow the pure land.
There is not the south Amitabha
[PR]
by fashiongirl | 2008-10-09 17:07

Love, what is it?

Love, what is it?
A lot of things are always intricate in this world, but no more than the love touchingly; No more than life and death solemnly and stirringly, and love, will let a lot of people give up the life.
Last night, I saw the film " disguise of an evildoer " shown newly. See a scene curtain in the film and give up one's own emotion and scene of the life for the lover, my tears have stopped falling down. As to the story, have been moving all the time, can't be forgotten for a long time.
The story different from content of the original work: Military officer Wang Sheng, has rescued the beautiful fox in millennium from the enemy army - -Small only, small to have millennium attainments of a Taoist priest, give birth to, stare one quarter instant such as she in king only, fall in love with he, then love and evil born therefrom. Small only side keep she appearance of common people Zhang that, take lizard to be smart to look for heart that come on for her, growing and doing all one can to catch up to the king on one side constantly, is determined to win. It is kept a firm hand on not putting to the love that Mrs. Wang wears Rong, but at the end, in order to protect the life of all people on husband and town, but would rather give up appearance and life Pang Yong originally gives birth to the brother going through fire and water with the king, after parting for many years, still the profound meaning of the feeling heavy to wearing Rong, in order to want the woman who help oneself and love deeply to have a happy family, go through the frustration, do all one can except that seductive. Finally, the goblin killed, the person dying survives, the story is with a happy happy reunion final result.
But the final result let people appeal for Xi already Spend for lover fault way little to only, sacrifice one's own pendant Rong for love too.
The little only love is destined to be a tragedy. Because that at one glance, she love the man that she does not can receive. Because she is a goblin, think that has ability to surmount the mankind oneself, will strive for even more; Because is unreconciled, so can be persistent; Will be injured so that disappeared finally. People, can not always see through some things in the world, it is only the goblin to be and little, she does not understand. Act as small to see, wear Rong choose, drink poison come protect Wang Sheng, only, she does not understand that wore Rong to say at that time " In fact you do not understand love " Meaning of sentence this, she see king grow, hold, wear Rong to be unwilling to go all out later on, saying loudly " I love you forever " ,Then wear Rong while growing and committing suicide for the king, just know some things can't be got forever in this world. Wang Sheng says to her that but act as " I love you " When,only been the small already the content with one's lot, love against her, deeply sad only too. For the person that loves deeply, it is efficacious that she has crushed millennium of practising austerities personally, have rescued the person that she loves, that was left is to stare in a flash finally. Think about inside the love, it is a kind of deep-rooted pain sometimes to be persistent.
Wear Rong, the gentle virtuous, such a woman is like a pool deep water, but because of loving, as to the thing that some things look calm, in fact overwhelmed with sorrow already. However, for Wang Sheng, she drinks small poison that only passed over, promises all small conditions that only put forward. While it is deep to be poisoned, have one's mind filled with the hurt and wronged her just quiet looking at Wang Sheng too. So quiet existence, seem not to exist generally. This kind loves, persistent and brave, moving, let people cry.
Wang Sheng, on morality and justice and friendship, he understood he has loved a person that shouldn't fall in love with. His grief is not to dare to admit one's own love and fact that does not like. Because of loving, so is unwilling to see everything of the thing clearly. While wearing Rong and dying, he still says that " loves you forever " ,But when he knows littly it is only a goblin, what he planned to exchange life for and wear Rong, when survives, at the last moment in that, he was to only saying small at last: "I love you, however, I have Rong of wearing "
Their expression, cool so straight, however, where a persons to have also, is the great wave of heart turbulent never?
Come, say the other person can't forgive, can in world of the love at ethics, what with the fault correctly is there? If the emotion can be controlled with theoried, those a lot of entanglements are destined not to happen. Wear the love in Rong - -Optimistic, unselfish, a very grave love; Little love that links - -Although selfish, domineering, that share of her imprint on the bones and inscribe on the memory, who can say her love is not enough for the weight?
In this case, what is the love on earth? Is it persistent or look at afar? Wait or give up? Sometimes restrain the words and deeds but can not fetter the thought; Sometimes is clear in the heart that but would rather be confused; Sometimes monopolize obviously but would rather share; Sometimes try to get and settle giving up finally
This word of the love, with what kind of sentence is really wanted to annotate? It is pale that I still feel the characters. Until love, can only realize I,can't speech.
[PR]
by fashiongirl | 2008-10-09 17:06


All time is no time when it is past.


by fashiongirl

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